Why I Won’t Shop At Meijer/Grammar Ninja

I have a bumper sticker on my car my roommate got me one year that says “Grammar Ninja: Ruthless, Deadly, Articulate.” It’s true. I am a Grammar Ninja of some sort, if such a thing exists. I don’t think I’m really deadly though.

As a journalism major, fan of the English language and supporter of saying things the right way, I am a bit of a stickler for good grammar and spelling. Also, I hate using exclamation points unless I really need to and refuse to use LOL in any online conversation, because, lets face it, it’s ridiculous. Yes, you do “laugh out loud” but it sounds more like, “haha,” so write that instead, thanks.

Writing your when you mean you’re or there when you mean they’re – and vice versa – drives me nuts. And I don’t understand why people use seen when they mean saw. Run on sentences – of the no-punctuation or all lowercase letters variety – make me cringe.

In a college editing class I had a professor who pointed out that there’s no such thing as first annual and from then on I couldn’t, and still can’t, read a sign, paper, brochure, etc. that uses that as the description for an event. Unnecessary apostrophes make my head hurt and unnecessary quotation marks are worse.

I try not to correct people, and believe me, sometimes with Facebook statuses it’s really hard not to comment on how many things are wrong with what is written. It’s annoying of me, I know. And like I said, I try not to correct people on their grammar or their spelling. I try really hard.

The biggest pet peeve of mine though – and if you’re my friend or you’ve seen my Facebook profile you know what it is – is the consistent confusion, for reasons I don’t understand, of the words idea and ideal.

Definitions:
IDEAL* - a conception of something in its absolute perfection; one that is regarded as a standard or model of perfection or excellence; an ultimate object of endeavor; a goal; an honorable or worthy principle or aim.

IDEA* - any conception existing in the mind as a result of mental understanding, awareness, or activity; a thought, conception, or notion; an impression; an opinion, view, or belief.

Not synonyms, yet someone supplying notebooks to Meijer seems to think so.

What, exactly, is this book ideal for? Because I know it’s not a book to write ideas in…

And of course I took a picture, so I could show the ridiculousness that is bad grammar, like on things sold in a store, that people see nothing wrong with.

Told you. Grammar Ninja.

I ♥ Lucy

Our family’s pet – a golden retriever named Lucy – recently turned seven years old. I say pet, not dog, because we’re not entirely sure that she’s not human.

She has weird habits, like having to have some part of her touching one of us at all times, whether that’s sitting as close as she possibly can to my dad’s chair without actually being on his lap – though she would in a heartbeat – or lying in front of my mom’s chair with her paw on one of my mom’s feet. She begs to lick the beaters after my mom’s done using them for baking, just like a little kid. She drives us crazy sometimes, my dad most of all, I think, but she’s a good dog.

She lets us dress her up to look like a boy scout or Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof – “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match..

She will wear a T-shirt sleeve on her head if we want her to – and it makes her really happy! And she will arrange her toys in a pile, all OCD-like. She takes after me in that way.

She is afraid of dogs that are relatively the same size as her head. And she really, really loves ice cream, which she got for her seventh birthday as a treat a couple of weeks ago.

Like I said, crazy. And spoiled. But I do love her.

I’m gonna need a bigger bookshelf

My perfect day – if I could have a day just to do this and nothing else – would include little more than a comfortable chair and a stack of books. Oh, and lunch delivered from McAlister’s.

Seriously though. I love to read. Always have. And I’m pretty good at it. Insert moment of shameless bragging here: In the first grade, I went to reading time with fifth-graders. I loved when the Book Fair came to my elementary school, I always had at least three things circled on my Scholastic Books order form they’d send home with us, and that Book It program, where you earned free stuff from Pizza Hut for completing certain reading tasks? I was on it. Not for the pizza so much as the books. NERD ALERT.

I guess I’ve got a somewhat creative mind – I liked the reading and writing aspects of school infinitely more than the maths and the sciences. Like how I used infinitely back there? Hey, vocab! I think if I didn’t write I could definitely be a librarian, or a work for a publishing company.

I’ve tried starting a book club, but it hasn’t worked out too well as of yet. But I’m gonna do it. It’s on my list, so I have to.

So what kind of books do I read? Well. My tastes have changed over the years and are still changing, actually. I started out, of course, at a young age, with “The Babysitter’s Club” series – which is why this blog appealed to me when I found out about it and MAN, I wish I’d thought of that… I also read pretty much every incarnation of “Sweet Valley High,” which I think I heard recently might end up a movie? I read some Stephen King stuff in late middle/early high school, which I probably shouldn’t have (more on that later). I did the mandatory reading for high school and ended up finding a few favorites, and some I wouldn’t read again if you paid me. Well, scratch that. It depends on how much you’d pay me…

In high school I found out I really liked “To Kill A Mockingbird,” though Mr. Marshall almost made me hate it because we had to write our own Cliff’s Notes for the book, a project that took about 35x longer to do than he took to read and grade it. I also found I liked “Beloved,” even though about five years after I graduated they decided to not allow it in our high school anymore…

We read some books I didn’t like, too. “Crime and Punishment” is not a favorite, neither is “The Great Gatsby” (sorry, Rach) or “All The Pretty Horses.” We read “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which wasn’t too bad. Cool concept for a movie though, I’m still deciding if I need to see it.

College provided little time for reading because I was doing so much of it in my classes I didn’t have time to get into a book, much less feel like it after all the other reading I had. I did read during summer and winter breaks though – and college is where I really got into the Harry Potter series. When it first came out, I was in high school. My sister was reading the books and I thought they were for kids and had no interest. A few years later, I thought I’d try ‘em out and see what all the hype was about – which I did with Twilight too but found I only kept reading to see what happened, not because I liked them. From then on, I was hooked. I’ve been to three midnight showings of the movies and the book release party for the final book in the series. In fact, I just got the third book in hardback, the only one I needed to finish my collection of all seven of them. Wow that’s a lot of numbers in not a lot of sentences.

In my post-college years, I’ve tried some different books. I’m open to pretty much any genre – except romance novels with cheesy pictures of Fabio on the cover with some headline that has to be read while breathing heavily – and any author. I like my books like I like my music, you hook me with one, I’m gonna at least give the rest of the stuff you’ve done a chance. For example, Jodi Picoult. Read one book, “Nineteen Minutes” and immediately started devouring the rest of the books she’s written. Same with David Sedaris and now, Jeff Lindsay.

I’m really into memoirs lately, more so than fiction. But I’ll give the occasional fiction a chance. It just depends on the subject. And the author. Like Stephen King, for example. Remember how I told you I probably shouldn’t have read his stuff at such a young age? Yeah, on account of how his book, “IT,” made me deathly afraid of clowns. But then again, his “Eyes of the Dragon” is one I read soon after and one of the few books I have read/will read more than once. “The Green Mile” is also pretty great. It’s a love/hate relationship. I have his new one on my list of books to buy, which, like this post, is getting progressively longer.

I’ve been told I should get a Kindle. Besides the ridiculously high price tag – I need to be saving for a new car, a laptop, a Wii…a girl’s got needs, even though all three of those actually kind of sound like a boy’s needs – I am hesitant to buy something that keeps me from being able to hold a real book in my hands. I already stare at a computer screen all day as it is, I want a book. And a bookmark. Preferably with a nice quote on it, or some puppies.

I’ve got some pretty good books on my shelf. Here are a few of them.

“When You Are Engulfed In Flames,” By David Sedaris
The first book of his I read, “Me Talk Pretty One Day,” is the first book that has made me laugh out loud while reading it – luckily this happened when I was at home, alone, not in Starbucks or something where I might look like a crazy. His books are memoirs, short stories about things that have happened in his life. The best story in this book is called “Solution to Saturday’s Puzzle,” about his cough drop falling from his mouth onto the lap of the person sitting next to him on a plane.

“The Eyes of the Dragon,” Stephen King
For as much as I like this book, it really should have made me want to read Harry Potter long before I actually did. It’s one of King’s older-ish books, to me anyway, it came out when I was 3. It’s about a kingdom. The king’s advisor poisons him, locks the heir to the throne away in a tower and has the king’s youngest son crowned king, who’s only 12, therefore needs help, which is what the advisor is there for. Pretty good stuff. And like I said before, the first book I wanted to re-read.

“Handle With Care,” by Jodi Picoult
I bought a Picoult book on a whim once, when I was at Walmart in college without a book to read. The cover looked interesting and the info in the jacket even more so. I finished it pretty quickly and proceeded to read everything else she’d ever published. Her books are so well-written they’re hard to put down. Each chapter is told from a different character’s point of view, and the stories are ripped from the headlines or at least sound like they should be. This book is about a girl with brittle bone disease and her family, who sues the mom’s OB/GYN for “wrongful birth.” She’s got a new one coming out in March, according to her Web site.

“Columbine,” by Dave Cullen
Before you think I’m morbid – especially because this is the second book about high school shootings mentioned in this post – hear me out. This book is written by a journalist. And seeks to disprove pretty much everything we thought we knew about the shooting that happened 10 years ago at the high school in Colorado. Like, that the shooters weren’t in the Trench Coat Mafia, they weren’t targeting jocks, the girl who actually professed her belief in God to one of the shooters wasn’t killed. The book jumps back and forth from events leading up to the shooting to what happened after. And Cullen appears to have done his research. A good chunk of the back half of the book is his bibliography. Hard to read at several points, but very interesting. **Update: Also, what I failed to add when I wrote this is that the book is just as much about media criticism and how easy it is to misunderstand what happened – as a member of the media, I find that the most interesting.

“Water For Elephants,” by Sara Gruen
Never thought I would like a book about a circus. Remember, I fear clowns. This book, however, is clown-less. Thank God. It’s instead about a guy who loses his parents in an accident and joins a circus as the show’s veterinarian. It’s a surprisingly good read and I’ve recommended it to several of my friends who were looking for their next book.

Then we’ve got my wish list on Amazon.com, currently about 10 books longer than it was a few days ago. On it? The next three books in the Dexter series – which has become my second favorite TV show ever, after LOST. Also, Dan Brown’s newest, “The Lost Symbol,” and Stephen King’s “Under The Dome,” which my mom got for Christmas and the book looks to weigh about half as much as the couch in my living room. It should keep me busy for a while.

I’ve also got “The Nanny Diaries” on the list, mostly because I saw a second one just came out and figured the first one must have been good, if they’re writing something else. Plus it got made into a movie. Then of course, a book for my coffee table – the Postsecret book I’ve got there now is kind of lonely. I’m ordering “Cake Wrecks,” by the writers of the blog of the same name. Hilarious stuff.

So, yeah, I like books.

25. CHRISTMAS

In 13 minutes, Christmas will be over. No more presents, no more Christmas music. I’m watching Christmas Vacation (third time in the past two weeks) on TV right now, taking full advantage of these last few minutes of this holiday. I’m unpacking my presents and thinking back on what an awesome day it was today.

Last night, of course, was Christmas Eve, where we took part in our annual tradition of getting together downstairs between services to snack and catch up – us old youth group members – and as usual we had a good time and laughed way too much. We even invited the pastor to come down and visit, it’s tradition. Then we went to the third of three services my church holds Christmas Eve.

This morning, we got up at 9 a.m. to open presents as a family. I got some awesome stuff, including a spa package, DVD player and new iHome-type alarm clock. Everyone got great stuff. Then the grandparents and my aunt, uncle and cousin came over to open presents and eat breakfast. We went to my other Grandma’s this afternoon for dinner and more presents and watched (500) Days of Summer – a great movie I highly recommend you see.

Now, I’m home, back in my apartment, unpacking my gifts and thinking about how thankful I am for all that I have. I am grateful for an amazing family, awesome friends and so many other great things. I am truly blessed and that’s what I’m happiest about this Christmas.

I hope all of you had great Christmases too – and thanks so much for reading!

We now resume regular posting.

24. Christmas Eve

Today is ALMOST the big day. But it could be argued that today is just as big, couldn’t it?

I mean, how many of us celebrate on this day as well? Some years, this is the day my family gets together at my grandma’s house and exchanges gifts with her. Some have their big meal today and open presents tonight. Or at least one. I have a friend who gets to open one gift Christmas Eve and it’s always pajamas for Christmas Day.

Tonight, for me, is church and one of my favorite Christmas traditions. You see, several years ago – I really don’t know when it started – those of us at church that had gone through youth group together and come back for the holidays gathered together before the final service of the night to eat snacks and catch up. Originially, my family and I had to be there for all three services Christmas Eve, someone was either playing an instrument, singing or reading at the first two (or in my case, working in the nursery) and then we attended the latest one.

Well, most of my friends from the youth group had the same thing going on. My family and I don’t do a big meal Christmas Eve and for a while it consisted of picking up some snacks from the gas station right by church on our way back from my grandma’s. Well, when the other church kids and I – we all still keep in touch and hang out when we can – realized we’d all be there all night and weren’t gonna get real food, decided to make it a potluck of stuff and eat together between the second and third services.

Sara – who lives in Montana now but always comes back for Christmas – always makes taco dip, someone always brings a dessert, and we raid the church kitchen for silverware, plates and cups. Three pastors have come down to snack with us at some point or another, even if just stopping by to get a bite of taco dip. Last year, our interim pastor even mentioned the little tradition during the service.

It’s a great time for us to catch up and spend time together and it’s a tradition I look forward to every year. Last year, one in our group showed up to the makeshift dinner to tell us she’d gotten engaged that day.

The church service is my other favorite part about today. In my church, we have a candlelight service. At the end of the service, we all get candles and pass the flame like we do the offering plate until everyone’s candles are lit. Then the lights are dimmed/turned off and we sing Silent Night together. It’s beautiful. Last year, our interim pastor changed it up a bit and had everyone make a circle around the entire sanctuary so we could all see each other as we sang.

At the end, we all sat there for a second, just taking in our surroundings and what we felt that night. It was so amazing I teared up a little. Maybe I cried, I dunno. Deal with it. Then he went into the middle, raised his candle and said “Merry Christmas” and blew it out. It really was a beautiful end to a beautiful service.

Tonight, we’ll get together around 8:30 and eat taco dip and other snacks while we are there between services. And at the last service, we’ll hold our candles and sing Silent Night together and think about what this holiday is really about.

Whatever your traditions, whatever you do today, or tomorrow, I hope you and your families have the merriest of Christmases.

23. Anticipation

The whole month of December is one big build-up to a one-day(ish) payoff. Starting the day after Thanksgiving – earlier than that even, for some – all people are concerned with are getting ready for Christmas, which is the reason I’m going to shop online next year.

Think about it though. All people are worried about are getting this done by Christmas or before Christmas or whatever. Then the actual day comes and it’s over so quick.

But there’s something about the anticipation, especially today, the 23rd. It’s so close to Christmas, but there’s still two days. Places are still open, because it’s not yet Christmas Eve. But it’s also time to wrap presents, because there’s stuff to do tomorrow and the day after that is Christmas. I’m excited to get presents, of course, but I’m more excited to give them. I look most forward to my family opening the presents I bought for them and seeing if they like them. I think I did a pretty good job this year.

I like the anticipation. I like getting ready for Christmas Eve and Christmas. I’m excited for church tomorrow night – I LOVE LOVE LOVE our candlelight service at 10:30 and before the service starts when my friends and fellow old school youth group-ers meet downstairs for snacks/dinner. But more on that tomorrow. Tonight, there’s stuff to be done. And stuff to be excited about. Because TOMORROW’S CHRISTMAS EVE!

Happy Festivus, everyone!

This is something I know at least some of you who read this will appreciate. Today, Dec. 23, is Festivus.

Festivus – a holiday for the rest of us – is a holiday from the show Seinfeld. It’s explanation, for those who haven’t seen it or heard of it, can be found here, on Wikipedia, so you know it’s legit.

Seinfeld went off the air a while ago, but the show is still on all the time. In fact, even though I’ve seen every episode, I’ll still stay up and watch the episodes that are shown on Fox41 at 1 a.m. sometimes. And the Festivus episode is a classic. Happy Festivus, everyone – or Christmas Eve Eve, whichever you prefer. P.s. I didn’t make this card, I found it, but it’s great.

22. The Christmas Story

No, not the movie, that’s already been covered here.

I’m talking about THE story. THE reason we even celebrate this holiday in the first place. THE story you’ll hear Thursday night – or Friday morning, depending on when/if you head to church during the holiday.

It’s a story we all know, the birth of Jesus. Such a simple story about a baby being born, yet it’s the most important story you’ll hear. I love hearing the story of Jesus’ birth and the way it’s told. This past week at church our pastor’s sermon was called “There’s Something About Mary.” He talked about what made God choose Mary and the responsibility he entrusted to her. It was a great sermon.

Jesus is the reason we celebrate and as you sit in church sometime during the next few days or even if you’re just sitting at home celebrating with family and friends, think about the Christmas story and what it means to you.

As far as that other Christmas Story, I just saw a commercial for the marathon that will be on Thursday and Friday and one of my neighbors has a replica of the leg lamp from the movie in their window. Awesome.

21. New calendars

If you know me, you know I enjoy planners, a lot. My friend Katie shares my enjoyment of planners and even let me know about a really cute one she saw at Walmart, which I ended up buying.

I already have my planner for next year – don’t judge. I even have stuff written in it already.

It’s the perfectionist/OCD in me, I like having my schedule written down where I can look at it and know what I have to do next. It’s for this same reason that I enjoy lists.

In the past couple years I haven’t gotten a wall calendar, I’ve just relied on my dry-erase weekly calendar and my planner. This year, though, I’m getting a calendar for my wall. It’s from one of my favorite blogs, dooce.com.

Dooce is a blog written by a woman in Utah who lost her job several years ago because she wrote things about her job on her blog and her bosses found out and fired her. Since then she’s gotten married, moved, had two kids and become pretty famous – in one of her recent posts she showed a screenshot of a Jeopardy question to which her site was the answer. She’s a great writer and so hilarious. I think we have the same sense of humor and I’m always interested in what she’s got to say. The week I was told about her blog I went back and started reading from the beginning until I got caught up. One of the best things she does is dress up her dogs, Coco and Chuck. Chuck’s been the subject of calendars the past few years and it’s so funny to see what pictures she uses on each month. This year’s calendar I think includes a picture of Chuck with her daughter’s onesie on his head and one with him sitting at her computer.

I’m ordering it soon after Christmas but don’t know if I’ll have it in time for Jan. 1. But that’s OK, I’ve still got my planner.

And that’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown

This past weekend, my youngest sister and I helped my other sister teach her Sunday School class of four- and five-year-olds. There was only one little kid in there – a little boy named Will – and he talks like a grown-up. She tells us all the time how smart all the kids in there are and how they retain everything they talk about in the Sunday School class, sometimes even bringing part of the previous week’s lesson into the activity they do during a story.

Long story short, this week they were supposed to make stars, to symbolize what the wise men saw on the night Jesus was born. It was stars cut out of cardstock, covered in glitter and hung up by a string. Will made his and we passed him upstairs when he was talking to his mom as we were leaving church.

Will’s mom: “You made a star? Is it to hang on our tree?”
Will: “No, it’s for the Wise Men to follow!”